How to do Hard things

There are times in my life when I find something extremely hard or difficult—until I actually start working on it. As I make progress, I sometimes realise that the task wasn't as difficult as I had imagined. That made me wonder:

Is difficulty a property of the task itself, or is it partly a product of how we perceive it?

A task can certainly have objective characteristics that make it difficult. But our experience of that difficulty also depends on where we are in relation to the task—our knowledge, skills, experience, resources and confidence.

What is difficult for me today may not be difficult for me a year from now. And what is difficult for me may be effortless for someone else.

So when something feels hard, perhaps we shouldn't immediately treat “this is hard” as a conclusion.

We should treat it as a question:

What exactly is making this hard?

Because the answer determines what we do next.

Hard is a starting point, not a conclusion

When I say something is hard, am I describing the task itself—or the gap between the task and my current capabilities? If it is the latter, that gap can sometimes be closed.

I can learn.

I can practise.

I can acquire resources.

I can ask for help.

I can change my approach.

The only way to know whether something is actually beyond me is to engage with it.

Inaction means accepting a belief without testing its validity.

So rather than immediately pushing harder or giving up, perhaps we should first understand the kind of difficulty we are facing.

So, what does “hard” actually mean?

The dictionary defines hard as “difficult to do or understand.”

That gives us a useful starting point.

1. I don't know

This is a knowledge gap.

I don't know what to do.

The answer is to learn—through a book, course, research, asking someone, or experimenting.

And interestingly, if I don't yet understand something, how can I confidently conclude that it is hard?

Sometimes what we call difficult is simply unfamiliar.

2. I know what to do, but I don't know how to do it

This is a skill gap.

Knowing something intellectually isn't the same as being able to do it.

I may know that I need to write, exercise, negotiate or have a difficult conversation. But I may not yet have the skill to do it well.

The answer here is practice—trial, repetition, feedback and correction.

3. I know how, but I can't seem to do it

This is an execution or internal barrier.

Maybe I'm afraid.

Maybe I'm overwhelmed.

Maybe perfectionism is stopping me.

Maybe I don't believe I can do it.

Here, learning more may not help. I need to understand what is preventing me from acting and work with that barrier.

Sometimes that means making the task smaller. Sometimes it means accountability, experimentation or getting help. Sometimes it means examining the fear or belief underneath the behaviour.

4. I know how, but my circumstances make it difficult

Sometimes the obstacle is external.

I may not have enough time, money, access, support or authority.

In that case, the answer isn't necessarily to change my mindset. I may need to change the conditions, reduce the scope, find another route, or get support.

And sometimes, despite all of this, something is simply difficult.

Some things are genuinely hard

This is important because I don't want to turn this idea into:

“If something feels hard, you're probably looking at it the wrong way.”

Sometimes things are genuinely hard.

Learning a new language is hard.

Changing careers is hard.

Building something from scratch is hard.

Writing well is hard.

Having an honest conversation with someone you love can be hard.

The fact that something is hard doesn't mean I shouldn't do it.

Something can be hard and still be worth doing.

Perhaps the better question isn't:

“Is this hard?”

It is:

“What does it take to do something that is hard?”

Maybe it requires knowledge.

Maybe skill.

Maybe practice.

Maybe courage.

Maybe resources.

Maybe help.

Maybe time.

Or maybe it requires all of them.

So when something feels hard, I don't have to convince myself that it isn't.

I can simply ask:

What exactly is making this hard—and what can I do about it?

Because “this is hard” doesn't have to be the end of the thought.

It can be the beginning of an investigation.